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Or: Yeah, He Really Did Say That. |
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"My plan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt." -George W. Bush, in budget address to Congress, Feb. 27, 2001 Finally, a little truth in advertising! -Ed "I have said that the sanction regime is like Swiss cheese; that meant that they weren't very effective." -George W. Bush, during a White House press conference, Feb. 22, 2001 Does it also mean they have more holes than the plot of The Phantom Menace? -Ed "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' -George W. Bush, Feb. 21, 2001 Too bad our president can't. -Ed "We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House, make no mistake about it." -George W. Bush, Feb. 7, 2001 Why's that, Mr. President? Is there something going on in there that we should know about? -Ed "There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it." -George W. Bush, speaking to Catholic leaders at the White House, Jan. 31, 2001 Oh, don't worry, Mr. President. I'm sure you'll have a legacy. And it's probably a good thing that you won't be around to see it. -Ed "I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state." -George W. Bush, speaking to reporters, Jan. 29, 2001 Eroding the bridge between church and state? Why can't we help the erosion process along a little bit? Together I know we can burn that bridge! -Ed "Then I went for a run with the other dog and just walked. And I started thinking about a lot of things. I was able to; I can't remember what it was. Oh, the inaugural speech, started thinking through that." -George W. Bush, in a pre-inaugural interview with U.S. News & World Report We know you were thinking, Mr. President. We could see the smoke. -Ed "Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." -George W. Bush, Jan. 2001 Wow, those are some big words! Be careful you don't use them out of context! -Ed "I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure." -George W. Bush, Jan. 2001 You mean I can't get ahead by failing? Dammit! -Ed "The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants." -George W. Bush, Jan. 2001 I'm so glad someone finally put this into layman's terms for me. I was so confused on this issue - Ed "I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be: a more literate country and a hopefuller country." -George W. Bush, Jan. 2001 Bush! Poster child of the more literate and hopefuller country! -Ed "Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods." -George W. Bush, Dec. 20, 2000 C'mon, kids! Let's go to the park and refine some natural gas! -Ed "I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them." -George W. Bush, Dec. 20, 2000 Execute them? Why would he want to execute congressmen and senators? Didn't they help him win the election? -Ed "The great thing about America is everybody should vote." -George W. Bush You forgot the second half of that sentence, Mr. President. "But nobody does." -Ed "As far as the legal hassling and wrangling and posturing in Florida, I would suggest you talk to our team in Florida led by Jim Baker." -George W. Bush Just don't ask his wife for make-up tips. -Ed "They misunderestimated me." -George W. Bush, Nov. 2000 No, they don't misunderestimate you, George. They just think you're a freaking idiot. -Ed "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush Forget those silly words! Let's look at the pictures! -Ed "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." -George W. Bush Um... hello? -Ed "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." -George W. Bush My dream of the country being run by someone who could think rationaly and speak with a little correct grammar took wing when this man took the oath of office. -Ed "If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it." -George W. Bush, during the third presidential debate Just tell me what I was for again, daddy. -Ed "One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected." -George W. Bush I expected a President who could relate entire thoughts in complete sentences. Needless to say, my expectations didn't exceed what I expected. -Ed "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." -George W. Bush I don't know about that. Those pesky fish make me so crazy! -Ed "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." -George W. Bush Not really, sir. You can throw it on them, smear it on them, dump it on them... -Ed "Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is; I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I'm the president." -George W. Bush, during the third presidential debate, Oct. 2000 I know you're just trying to be honest, but I think you took it a little to far, George. -Ed "Laura and I are proud to call John and Michelle Engler our friends. I know you're proud to call him Governor. What a good man the Englers are." -George W. Bush, Nov. 2000 The Engler's are a good man? Are they joined at the hip like Chang and Eng? And how difficult was it for Michelle to grow up with such a femenine name? -Ed "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." -George W. Bush, in a CNN online chat, Aug. 2000 So THAT'S how politicians define trustworthiness! - Ed "We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.'' -George W. Bush Yeah, those damn terrorists make me so hostile! I hear they make our allies hostile, too. -Ed "I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read; I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do." -George W. Bush, on MSNBC's "Hardball" You sure about that? -Ed "I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating." -George W. Bush Oh, I wouldn't say that. -Ed "This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve." -George W. Bush, speaking during "Perseverance Month" at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, New Hampshire You forgot the part where you have to have lots of daddy's oil money and political connections, too. -Ed "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there." -George W. Bush, Jan. 2000 Is he talking about the fish again? Or the terrorists who make me hostile? Who is this myseterious "them?" I know they're out there somewhere! -Ed "The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." -George W. Bush A boy named Sue and a first lady named George. What a country! -Ed "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." -George W. Bush Are you sure it couldn't just be a lot of numbers on some paper? -Ed "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" -George W. Bush True. The question usually goes: ARE our children learning? -Ed "I was raised in the West. The West of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California." -George W. Bush He may have failed remedial reading, but, dammit, he passed geography! -Ed "It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then." -George W. Bush, reflecting in 1994 about growing up in Midland, Texas I'm sure he was inebriated many a time in Midland in his youth. -Ed |
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| "Who's more the fool, the fool, or the fool who follows him?" -Sir Alec Guiness as Obi Wan Kenobi in "Star Wars." | ||
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